Failed Relationships- Trauma and Solutions

“Enveloped in the darkness, a little angel is trying to elude from the deadly demons residing in mind; demons that push into the never-ending tunnel of nostalgia, remorse, and self-loath.”

When you invest your heart and soul in a relationship, you build a tiny world around yourself where you think that the other person feels the same way as you do for the relationship. Your world revolves around them and you, blinded by your feelings, believe you are their universe too. You ignore the major red flags only because you are busy trusting and loving them. Often you fail to see the bigger picture during these times.

Here, the question arises, how you should deal with the mess when you confront your partner’s reality. To know more about this, you need to first focus on what are the side effects of such a traumatic heartbreak.

1. You lose the sense of belongingness- You feel detached from everything and everyone around you. You become skeptical and hence you suspect every small or big thing happening around you.
2. You feel immured and caught up in a room. To add to this, you think your feelings are bottled up always and you carry a heavy heart from morning to night. And also you fear to share your feelings with someone because you think they might use your weaknesses against you.
3. You overthink all day long. Your mind plays a movie of the happy times that you and your partner had spent together. You try hard to either erase those moments forever or you crave to live them once again. You, at times, also feel a sudden appetency to go in the past and warn yourself to stay away from the evil person.
4. You demean and belittle yourself. Sometimes, you think that you have been a dumb person throughout because you trusted the wrong person and gave everything to them. While other times you think you are full of flaws and nobody would ever want to be with you.
5. Worst of all, very often you get a feeling to go back to them or search for a rebound.

You only try temporary methods to run away from the traumatic situation. Amidst these chaotic thoughts, you forget that it’s our responsibility to wipe away the mess. But, now is the time to pick yourself up, to dress-up and head-up.

To deal with each of the aforementioned heart-wrenching conditions, take a dive-in to the methods below and fight the battle where your win is the only result.

1. Confide in your family or close friends. Notice your worth and importance in their lives. Discern the small or big things they do to make you happy.

Often have I witnessed people pushing their closed ones away during such situations.

DON’T DO THIS. Chances are you might multiply troubles. Sit with them and talk. Joke and laugh. Ask them how their day was and tell them about yours.

2. Go out with friends and family. Let the fresh air ventilate your organs and refresh your mind. At first, try to stay near nature and listen to birds chirping and leaves rustling; watch the myriad hues of mother nature and witness bees dancing. Also, let the wave of cool breeze hit your face and fill your system with energy.

Sync with the scintillating vibes of people and kids around.

3. Try speaking about your problems. Learn to communicate. Pick up a diary and pour out your feelings. Keep scribbling your thoughts till the point your heart feels lighter. Unpack the packed feelings and trust the paper you are venting out to, for it will never betray you, rather befriend you the moment you start inking it. Remember, that piece of paper is your buddy who will allay the severity of the situation.

I remember a friend of mine, who overcame the hard times by opting for a piece of paper and books. And mind you, it’s more than a year since he embarked on the journey of surpassing the pain his first love gave, and every day he still unfolds a newer version of himself while writing and understanding himself.

4. Pick up one hobby and do it frequently. This will help you feel lively and vibrant. You will feel there’s a feeling of happiness inside you and your heart is pumping energy in your system.

5. Eat good food, by good I mean, the kind of food that’s good for your body and not only your taste buds. Healthy food spreads happiness and optimism in your body.

Food always plays an important role in balancing mood so think twice before picking up something that would sadden your organs and your mind too.

6. Do not, I repeat, do not, look for rebounds. Your mental peace will disrupt in a manner that can’t be handled later. Don’t leave this point unchecked thinking that you will get positivity and a sense of belongingness through rebound. I can’t emphasize enough on the need of sitting alone and moving-on for yourself, sitting alone and untying your knots yourself.

Often in rebounds, you hunt for a lot of affection right in the beginning and rush with everything thinking it would last. This not only puts your subconscious at a high risk of feeling insecure, considering your past but also makes the other person’s mind un-calm and hasty.

Unbridled feelings and running away from the reality will only multiply the grave situation that you are in. So, get up and gather yourself, for no one else loves you more than you love yourself.