How to win friends and influence people

Part one — Lesson one

If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.

This lesson loudly screams about the fundamental techniques that should be used while handling people. Over and over again, there’s one thing that is talked about the most is — Criticism is nothing but futile efforts on making someone act like you want them to.

Umpteen examples have been stated in this lesson to leave no hook n corner on the fact that criticism attracts more disappointments. The author talks about the unusual attitude of criminals and how they defend themselves even after committing heinous sins. Lewis Lawes, warden of New York’s infamous Sing Sing prison brings to limelight that all the bad men always come up with reasons and never dive into the sorrow of remorse. Criminals justify themselves & their merciless acts by thinking & saying that they have been humane by their deeds. They also believe firmly that they shouldn’t have been imprisoned as whatever they did was the only way out to deal with their respective situation.

Book also lets us know that 99 out of 100 times people do not criticize themselves. The very famous psychological experiment by B.F. Skinner on rewards and punishments also speaks to us in bold letters that nothing great can be achieved with criticism.

Author strongly affirms that fools criticize and condemn and that the true character lies in being understanding and forgiving. Criticism is dangerous, wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance and arouses resentment.

Hence, bringing to us the first principle- DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.

My take-

During these years of my life, I have also elicited the fact that appreciation does wonders whereas criticism just hampers the beautiful development of a human mind, be it with kids or adults. I have witnessed even the dauntless humans getting intimated with life when exposed to heart-wrenching tantrums. Criticism, either in scarcity or in surfeit, makes a person doubt his/her self worth and may even reach to the point where they develop boundless and profuse hate for themselves and their lives. Kindness costs just a smile but a harsh comment can leave an indelible scar for a lifetime.

Do you want to be a shining star in someone’s sky or a broken part of meteor which everyone fears from?